Tuesday, 2 June 2015

GGRP: All I Want is Everything.


What better way to kick off Read Women Month than with a new Gossip Girl Review Project post??

Well okay, you can probably think of a few, but this is my blog so we're doing this instead.

The Gossip Girl Review Project (GGRP for short) is a series I started on my short lived book blog, stasialikesbooks, but since I stopped updating that blog I've decided to keep going with the series over here. You can find the two previous posts in the series here.

Now let's get on with this review of the third book in the series, All I Want is Everything.


Actually, before we start I want to share this quotation from the book about one Daniel Humphrey: "He wanted to have five children and name them after his favourite writers: Kafka, Goethe, Sartre, Camus, and Keats." Can book Dan get any more awful? You will be surprised after reading that horrifying sentence that the answer is yes. Yes he can.

Synopsis
It's almost Christmas vacation and as per usual, everyone is making terrible choices. Blair has one secret admirer and one not so secret, Serena has a rock star practically stalking her (because of course she does), and the five of them all sort of end up spending Christmas vacation together, where Serena tries to avoid the rock star and Blair almost has sex with Aaron's rando friend. Dan isn't sure if he wants to sleep with Vanessa or not. Vanessa is very sure that she wants to sleep with Dan. Jenny is head over heels in love with Nate for some reason I cannot fathom. Vanessa films Jenny and Nate bare bottomed in the park and the video accidentally ends up online, after which Dan turns into a crazy person. Nate spends the entire book high. Classy choices all around for everyone.

Familiar scenes
Vanessa sends one of Dan's poems to The New Yorker without telling him, which is a classic TV show Vanessa move. Serena and Aaron are basically together by the end of the book too, which I like because in a surprising turn of events they are probably the two characters I like most in these books.

What's different?
I feel like the answer to this is just 'the characters' every single time but omg seriously. Dan goes bananas in the second half of the book and writes a poem about Jenny and Vanessa called 'Sluts'. TV show Dan WOULD NEVER. And Nate is literally high all the time. All the time. How Jenny isn't bored yet I do not know. Oh, also, Blair's mother is pregnant. So that should be interesting.

Fanciest fancy party
Serena's New Year's Eve party at the end of the book, which Serena attends barefoot. Her rock star almost-stalker shows up and plays her a song he has written for her and she kisses Aaron instead. I like book Serena so much more than I ever liked TV show Serena.

Most conniving scheme
There was no scheming! I can't believe the lack of scheming in these books. There was so much in the TV show!

What is Chuck Bass up to?
Still being creepy as heck. Honestly where did the TV show writers get their version of Chuck Bass from? Because I have yet to see him in these books!

How off the rails is Jenny Humphrey?
Oh, Jenny. I am reluctant to call Jenny 'off the rails' but she certainly needs a good talking to. Jenny has got it into her head that she and Nate are Romeo and Juliet without all the death. She thinks that even though she is fourteen and he is about to go to college they'll be together forever because they love each other so much. Nate mostly thinks about weed and Blair's ass. Jenny really needs to learn to love herself.

Join me next time for the fourth book in the series Because I'm Worth It. It may not sound like it but I am actually starting to enjoy these books so I'm hoping to get the next post up before the end of the month, because why not start and end Read Women Month with some Gossip Girl fun?

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